A collection of quotes from Newcastle coach Kevin Keegan that should make you all chuckle. He may wear his heart on his sleeve but where does he keep his brain?
"They compare Steve McManaman to Steve Heighway and he's nothing like him, but I can see why - it's because he's a bit different."
"Despite his white boots, he has real pace... "
"You can't do better than go away from home and get a draw... "
"He can't speak Turkey, but you can tell he's delighted. "
"There'll be no siestas in Madrid tonight. "
"...using his strength. And that is his strength, his strength. "
"Gary always weighed up his options, especially when he had no choice. "
"I'm not disappointed - just disappointed. "
"The tide is very much in our court now. "
"Chile have three options - they could win or they could lose. "
"That would have been a goal if it wasn't saved. "
"I came to Nantes two years ago and it's much the same today, except that it's totally different. "
"A tremendous strike which hit the defender full on the arm - and it nearly came off."
"The good news for Nigeria is that they're two-nil down very early in the game."
"The substitute is about to come on - he's a player who was left out of the starting line-up today."
"That decision, for me, was almost certainly definitely wrong. "
"I know what is around the corner - I just don't know where the corner is.
"But the onus is on us to perform and we must control the bandwagon. "
"Hungary is very similar to Bulgaria. I know they're different countries... "
"In some ways, cramp is worse than having a broken leg. "
"The 33 or 34-year-olds will be 36 or 37 by the time the next World Cup comes around, if they're not careful. "
"England have the best fans in the world and Scotland's fans are second-to-none. "
"I'd love to be a mole on the wall in the Liverpool dressing room at half-time. "
"It could be far worse for me if it was easy for me. "
"Discipline is not only very important, it's crucial. "
"Argentina won't be at Euro 2000 because they're from South America. "
"They're the second best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that."
"You don't get two chances at this level, or at any other level for that matter."
"You're not just getting international football, you're getting world football."
"Kanu, a guy with a heart as big as he is."
"The Germans only have one player under 22, and he's 23."
"For some it's the ultimate job, for the others it's the last job."
"He'll also be very dangerous from set-pieces. That means he'll be a threat from free-kicks and corners in the final third of the field."
"Danny Tiatto is not going to make a mistake on purpose."
"I'll never play at Wembley again, unless I play at Wembley again."
"You need 88 points for the title and we've got 61 at present with 16 games to go, but if you set targets you limit yourself."
"We deserved to win this game after hammering them 0-0 in the first half."
"He's got a heart as big as his size, which isn't big, but his heart's bigger than that."
"As far as I'm concerned, Danny Tiatto doesn't exist."
"One team with destiny already decided..."
"Maine Road was a great football stadium but as time moved on it stayed where it is...."